How do you tell a customer you can’t help them - and still have them come back next time?
The aim of retail is simple: solve a customer’s problem and sell them something. It’s a win-win. But what happens when you don’t have what they need and they end up leaving empty handed? How do you make the best of a bad situation?
The problem is, the customer came into your store with the expectation, or hope, that you were the business that could help them and the last thing you want is for them to leave disappointed and thinking that you couldn’t. After all, you want them to think fondly of you so that they come back next time – there’s nothing quite as valuable as a repeat customer.
So, how do you tell a customer that you can’t help them but in a way that has them wanting to come back to shop with you next time?
And the answer? It’s all in the delivery.
There is definitely a right way and a wrong way of managing a situation like this and I have the perfect example of both with two, real-life scenarios from my own shopping experience.
A lot of retail transactions start with a problem, which is perfect for retailers since hopefully they’ve got the solution. My problem was that I needed to replace some little green plastic clips that hold the moulding around the wheel arch of my car so I researched online first so that at least I would know what they were called and then visited one of the large auto shops with a sample in hand.
I walked in the door and waited, feeling a bit like a fish out of water. There weren’t many other customers in the store but the staff seemed very busy doing very important things (apparently). Eventually I was able to catch the eye of someone towards the back behind the parts desk who walked towards me, not smiling, not really greeting me. I was already feeling like a bit of an inconvenience.
I handed her the clip, explained what it was for, and asked if they had these in stock. She walked over to the display stand which was mostly empty and simply said, “No, we don’t have these at the moment.”
And that was that.
So, I asked if she knew where I might get them and she just said to try one of the other auto places. It was an answer — but not a helpful one. She was definitely giving off the “I have better things to be doing” vibes.
As I left, I couldn’t help but feel fairly negative about that store. In fact, I’m pretty sure I rolled my eyes. This was a national brand that was not going out of its way to help solve my problem.
Anyway, I still needed my clips.
I drove about a kilometre down the road to another auto store (note how close their competition is) and walked in the door and within seconds, from a few metres away, I hear a young man call out, “Good morning.” He had literally changed directions to walk towards me, and he seemed genuinely happy to see me. So, I asked him my question and he said, “I’m really not sure, let me take a look.”
I followed him to the parts counter and watched as he went through all the little drawers of clips, comparing them to mine and chatting as he did. Unfortunately, he didn’t have them either but he then spent a couple of minutes explaining why my clip was different to the ones he had and that there was no universal option. In the end he suggested that I might need to go to the dealer in town to get them to order them in.
And as I left, it struck me that he also couldn’t help me, but it wasn’t for lack of trying, and that’s what made the difference.
The outcome was the same as the first store but, even though I didn’t get the clips, the impression that I left with was that this store had people who had more expertise than the other and also, a greater willingness to help. Neither solved my problem, but only one of them made me feel like I mattered.
“Ultimately, I walked out empty handed from both stores and both retail team members had to say no to me as a customer, however their delivery of that message differed greatly and the outcome was that I would be far more likely to return to the second store next time simply because of how significant they made me feel as a customer.”
SAME OUTCOME, VERY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE
Let’s break it down into the key service steps with a side by side comparison of both of these experiences.
Swipe to view full table →
| Key Service Steps | First Store | Second Store |
|---|---|---|
| Positive greeting that made me feel welcome | ❌ No greeting, felt like an inconvenience | ✔️ Warm “Good morning”, felt genuinely welcomed |
| Asked questions to understand the problem | ❌ None | ✔️ Took time to look, compare and understand |
| Actively tried to find a solution | ❌ Minimal effort, pointed to an empty stand | ✔️ Searched through drawers, compared options, explained differences |
| Offered helpful advice or alternatives | ❌ “Try somewhere else” | ✔️ Suggested going to the dealer and explained why |
| Made me feel like my problem mattered | ❌ Felt like I was taking up their time | ✔️ Felt like they genuinely wanted to help |
In retail, we train our team in how to provide excellent customer service but usually with the expectation of a sale. We train them to add-on sell, upsell, and switch a customer to purchase a different product when something is out of stock.
However, as in my example, there are times when there just isn’t a replacement product to switch them to and even though the customer will inevitably leave empty handed, that doesn’t mean they also have to leave with a negative impression of your business. As I said earlier, it’s all in the delivery.
SO, WHAT DOES ‘GOOD DELIVERY’ ACTUALLY SOUND LIKE IN THIS SITUATION?
Even when the answer is no, great service sounds like:
“We don’t have that right now, but let me check a few options for you.”
“I don’t think think we stock that, but here’s where you could try next.”
“If you’d like, I can order it in or find out more for you.”
At this stage, it’s not about having the product, it’s about showing the customer that you care enough to at least try to help them find a solution.
PRACTICAL TRAINING TOOLS TO USE IN YOUR WORKPLACE:
So, how do you make sure that your team responds in a way that keeps your customers coming back? You already know the answer - it’s to train them, then keep reinforcing it in bite-size ways, and then also model the same service skills yourself when they’re around.
Here are a few easy training tools that might help:
THE 5-STEP SERVICE FRAMEWORK
Develop and then train a simple service response framework that suits most situations in your business - and stick to it. It needs to become part of your ongoing language and, you need to give it a name such as the Service Framework.
By naming it, and making it part of the onboarding and induction training, you’re embedding it into your team member’s mind so that they not only have the steps to follow (and that will eventually come naturally to them), but you also have a reference point any time you need to raise it with someone. You can simply say, “I noticed you weren’t asking the questions in the Service Framework.” And they will know exactly what you mean.
The Service Framework needs to be simple, broken into clear steps that are logical and easy to follow. Five steps maximum, is probably about right.
Here’s a simple 5-Step Service Framework that suits some retail businesses:
Warm, positive greeting (that lets them know that you genuinely want to help).
Ask 3 questions first (understand their problem before trying to solve it).
Actively try to find the solution (and let the customer see that effort).
If you can’t help, offer advice or alternatives (that shows that they matter).
Finish with a warm goodbye (and a gentle apology if you haven’t solved the problem).
“SAY THIS, NOT THAT” LANGUAGE SWAPS
“Say This, Not That” Sheets on the noticeboard might sound too simple but it actually works, and it’s no-cost. It’s just a way of reminding your team about that their communication style matters when talking with customers; it keeps it at the forefront of their mind.
Print a simple table that shows language swaps that are common in your business - and honestly, you will probably know them already. Put the table on the noticeboard for a few weeks and, if you want, have your team initial the bottom of it to show they’ve read it. They might refer to it several times but, in any case, even just a glance at it is enough to remind them of that message. Swap it for a different messaging sequence from time to time and adjust it to whatever messaging you’re wanting to reinforce. Put only a few swaps on each time, people learn best in bite-size portions.
This is especially useful for younger or less experienced staff who need a little bit of time to develop their communication styles in their new workplace.
Also, and very importantly, make sure you notice if you overhear a team member using the positive language swaps – it’s important to catch them doing it right. Positive reinforcement is almost always more effective than only ever noticing people’s mistakes.
Here’s an example of some ‘Say This, Not That’ Language Swaps:
❌ “No, we don’t have that.”
✅ “We don’t have that at the moment, but let me see what I can do for you.”
❌ “Try somewhere else.”
✅ “You might have better luck at [store], they usually stock these.”
❌ “I don’t know.”
✅ “I’m not sure, but let me find out for you.”
LISTEN & LEARN SHADOWING
More often than not, the most effective training is incidental - the little techniques and snippets of knowledge that a team member picks up from their manager and the more experienced team during the course of the work day. You must encourage your team (and give them permission) to make the most of these learning opportunities, whenever possible.
For example, it didn’t happen in my scenarios but sometimes, particularly for new or less experienced team members, a team member will seek the advice of a more experienced person or manager when serving a customer – this is an important part of actively trying to find the solution and one which a customer often really appreciates.
When this happens, encourage the first team member not to simply hand the customer over and walk away. Instead, they should stay and listen, or at least hover within earshot so that they hear how the situation is handled and perhaps even ask their team mate a few questions after the customer has left.
This allows them to build their own knowledge because there will almost certainly come a time when another customer comes in with the same question comes and, just as importantly, they get to learn through observation of a real-life scenario. Modelling from others is by far the most valuable training tools in any workplace.